Please Pack Your Knives...

Matt and I have a new addiction. Unlike an addiction to drugs or alcohol or chocolate, this one can only make us better people. And by better people, I mean snobs. We're not snobs in everything, but lately, we're becoming arm chair food snobs. See, this snobbery came from our addiction. You know what they say, all addictions have some sort of bad side effect, and this is ours. Now don't get me wrong, we still eat and prepare our food the same, we're strictly food snobs when we are watching Top Chef.

If you're not aware of this show, Top Chef brings together 15 talented chefs and they have to go through different challenges and the best dishes (and chef) make it through to the next round. An episode always includes a 'Quickfire' round, which is something that usually has to be conceptualized and executed quickly, and there's always some sort of theme. Like once they could only use the ingredients out of two vending machines (both candy and sandwich variety), one time they only had 15 minutes to create something with the ingredient of 'chocolate' and once they had to create an original ice cream flavor and took it to the streets. The winner of the Quickfire challenges get immunity in the early season, and later on they get advantages over the other chefs.

Elimination challenges are more involved. They can be individual or they can be team efforts (though usually everyone contributes a dish). Elimination challenges have been things such as, using certain ingredients, sometimes very exotic. One time when there were seven contestants left, they created a meal each person making a dish that represented one of the sins. Often they work as teams to cater events and there is always restaurant wars, which is where they're divided up into teams and given an empty space. They have to design a menu, decorate etc. One of my favorite challenges was when they had to create a main dish, side dish and dessert, but had to keep it under 500 calories.

There are four judges for every episode. There are always Padma, who is the host as well, and Tom, who is the head judge. And then either Gail Simmons from Food and Wine magazine or Ted Allen from Queer Eye alternate as the third judge:


The fourth judge is always a celebrity judge. My favorite that they have is Anthony Bourdain:


Now you've got an update on what Top Chef is, I'll explain how Matt and I have become arm chair food snobs. See as we watch each season, we scoff from our comfortable couch at the chefs on the show. For example, the season we just finished watching, the first challenge was to create an amuse bouche with just the ingredients from the table in the room (they'd been at a meet and greet party and had a table full of party like items). Oh you should have heard how we scoffed when one of the contestants didn't know what an amuse bouche was and hollowed out an apple and filled it with fruit and juice. A good idea, for a first course maybe. Sheesh! It's not surprising when he was the first one sent home.

And for the non couch food snobs, an amuse bouche is something that's meant to be eaten in one bite. It's usually light and should be an indication of the rest of the meal. Here's an example:

Presentation is very important in Top Chef. We can tell right away whether someone has good presentation or not. Here are some examples of good presentation:


Here are some examples of what not to do:

See, the key is, it's got to be eye catching, not too much food (generally the meals involve more than one course) and of course, it has to taste good. You want to avoid your plate being too crowded or not colorful enough.

A sauce line on the plate is always a nice touch. And you can do lots with those big spoons, like in the example with the amuse bouche.

Top Chef has also taught me so many other things. I now know what foie gras is (it's French and basically duck liver cooked in different ways) and gnocci dumplings, in a ball shape.

Here are some examples. Gnocci:


Foie Gras:


Our knowledge about food has also increased, now I know to describe food as 'clean' and that's a good thing, also you want to have lots of flavors that blend well together, you don't want to have too many ingredients, or one flavor overpowering another.

When the chefs are issued their challenges, Matt and I always discuss what we would do or what we'd make. And the irony is not lost on me that I wouldn't eat most of those items that are served, so my contributions are mostly 'I'd make a hamburger, except I'd use ranch!' or I'd make chicken, but my secret ingredient would be ranch!' Needless to say, I think I'd rock at Top Chef. Of course though, it's not all completely a loss. I wouldn't serve my lovely presented burger alone, nope I would definitely have pomme frittes: